| Mind your
own business! |
By David Perdew |
|
My younger brother was a pest. Always hanging around,
like younger brothers do, trying to play baseball with
us big kids, he badgered us to explain the rules of
whatever game we played.
My standard line was, "Go mind your own
business."
Oh, how I wish I had taken my own advice.
After my kids came along, the idea that I had become
responsible for everyone's well-being, safety and
behavior laid heavy on my mind. Of course, that's
true,
but changing my kids was never my responsibility.
Raising them - YES!
Providing for them - ABSOLUTELY!
Changing them - NEVER!
When I hear people say that they must figure out how
to
change their kids or their spouse, I smile. Because,
now, I know something they don't.
It's none of their business!
Our business, as the Great Spiritual Teachers have
proclaimed through the millennia, is taking the right
action.
Kids are great witnesses. They watch everything we do.
We forget that one of our primary jobs is to teach our
children. We do that by example. Think about it. Has
anyone ever told you that your little Johnnie or
little
Susie acts just like you? In my case, I shudder when I
hear that. Nothing frightens me more.
Kids don't learn from fatherly lectures, but from
fatherly actions. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Your
actions speak louder than words." For years, I
had that
backwards. My mantra was, "Do as I say, not as I
do!"
Now, my "business" is to be a role model. If
I want my
children to grow up with integrity, I need to live a
life of integrity. If I want them to grow up to be
loving, supportive family members, I need to be a
loving, supportive family member. If I want them to
become good stewards of their finances, I need to
manage my own financial affairs appropriately.
Only then can I share what I know - usually because
someone respects me enough to ask for advice, not
because I need to force my way!
Remember the saying, "He didn't fall far from the
tree"? Well, our kids are part of the tree -
always. No
denying it. The only way to change the fruit is to
change the tree.
That's my business!
Changing my life is changing my kids lives. And it's
never too late to start. I'm living proof of that. My
grown kids have changed so much - and for the better -
over the past 10 years because I've changed. Those
changes will carry through to my grand children. I've
already changed them - even the unborn grand children
-
because I've changed. That's the way it works.
My business is the most important business on earth,
and I'm the only one who can mind it, and I can mind
no
other.
Who's minding your business! And better, yet, who's
business are you minding?
Sincerely,
David Perdew
*****************************************************
PS: If you have experiences or ideas you'd like to
contribute, forward them to me at support@bad-dad.com
and I'll include them in future publications. Or voice
your comments at http://www.WorldWantingPeace.com |
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